Baby Blues

I have not done a good job of keeping up with posts have I?  Time just keeps slipping away from me, as I told me Mom the other day.  It is like I live in this WY bubble.  I really don't leave the house that often because it is too cold, and living in a tiny town doesn't give you much reason to leave anyways.  This also doesn't help my feelings of the baby blues lately....

I know this is normal, don't worry I am not about to drive off a bridge or anything but I find that I get upset really easy and just burst into tears.  This happened last night as I was trying to get Danni ready for bed.  Hailey came down with flu like symptoms and last night it seemed to peak.  So Corey was playing Xbox and when he does get on (which is not a lot lately) he zones out.  So I had Hailey burning with a fever and crying for comfort while I had Danni crying because she was in a poopy diaper and I also had to give her a bath.  It doesn't help that she is slightly grumpy in the evenings as well.  So I felt like I was stretched way too thin.  Add on top of that the fact I haven't been sleeping much with a new baby and a sick 4 year old.  Then I have been stressing about Danni getting this flu bug from Hailey and not even 3 weeks old it would be so horrible for her.  I was done...done done.

I wanted to just burst out crying but I didn't want the kids to see me getting upset.  They probably think I am a basket case here lately anyways.  And to make matters worse when you think that you have it the worst you are reminded that your life is really not that bad.  I saw a video posted on Facebook from brother Holland I believe talking about climbing mountains and facing challenges.  I can say I let myself cry while watching this.  I feel better for two reasons: 1. like I said I realize that compared to what others are facing mine is a grain of salt so I need to look at the positive in my life. 2. it made me realize that I need to pray more often and rely on my Heavenly Father for comfort and support.  I can't do things on my own all the time.  And I always feel like I need to do things by myself with no help.  This also goes toward things going on in my life.  I need to let Corey take charge sometimes and I need to make the kids do more for me.  I also need to remember that it isn't the end of the world if my kitchen and bathrooms don't get a deep cleaning every week.  Life will not end if I don't.

You would think after 4 kids having one more would be easy.  But I find that having Danni has been the most challenging for me.  Physically and emotionally.  Obviously I have lots I need to learn and grow from.....