Thursday, January 3, 2013

Breastfeeding Aspirations

From the moment I found out I was pregnant with my first child almost 12 years ago..(wow that makes me feel old just typing this) I knew I wanted to breastfeed.  When he was born I thought it was going to be so easy.  It seems so easy, you just stick them on there and off you go.  I was in Phoenix at the time and my Mom couldn't make it till about 2 weeks post part em, so I was just winging it.  I can't even remember if I had the lactation consultant talk to me before I left for home.  All I know is about 1 week afterwards I was in serious pain.  Everyone I talked to said you would get sore so I thought it was normal.  Well by the time my Mom got there I was in tears every time I had to feed him and there was usually a lot of blood everywhere.  Not a good experience for a beginner breast feeder.  So I did formula and that was that. 

3 babies later and I still switched to formula about 2 days after having them.  Yes I had the lactation lady come in and help with all 3.  Every single one said the same thing.  Your baby just has a strange suck or the roof of the mouth of odd shaped so I would have to train him/her how to latch on correctly which would take time.  Really?  What happened to everyone else who just gets to have breastfeeding babies with no problems?  I would always get frustrated or start getting sore and I think I would have flashbacks to my first.  I think that fear of having the same problem caused me to stop before I could even start.

Here I am pregnant and almost ready to deliver baby number 5.  I really want to do this birth naturally because of problems with the epidural with baby 4.  I am so glad my mom is so supportive with my decision.  Wish my hubby was on board just as much, but he just wants me to get the painkillers and get it over with.  Not that he is not loving and a wonderful husband.  He gets really nervous in the delivery room and tends to just stand in the corner not sure what to do.  So I am certain the thought of me on no drugs makes him extra nervous already.  But along with this new strength or desire to have this baby naturally I really really want to breastfeed.  Will it be best for the baby? Sure we all know that.  But I really want to have that closeness to my baby that I missed with the other 4.  And not being able to do something has really drove me nuts. 

So I prep and and I read but I really don't think there is anything I don't know that I haven't already read.  Or that the lactation consultants haven't gone over again and again.  I just have this hope and I pray that it will be enough this time.  Plus the fact I am delivering at a tiny hospital with only 2 birthing rooms gives me an edge as well.  With not too many woman to attend to I am hoping to get some much needed one on one time when little Danni arrives.  So here is to hoping and wanting to do something even though you fear it.

5 comments:

melissa said...

Wow, you are brave to go natural! I know you can do it! I quit breast feeding with Avenley after only a few days as well. I didn't even try with Paisley partly because she was in nicu and wasn't eating well evenwith a bottle and partly because I was afraid it wouldn't work. With Rone, I had my mind set on it. The first day was rough, but I knew I couldn't quit. now it's going perfect and I love it. I regret that I missed out on this with the. girls! Anyway, good luck! I know you can do it!

Seth and Julie said...

I am a major advocate for breastfeeding and my first 2 kids caught on pretty well. The last was a true nightmare. It was more painful than childbirth without an epidural so I get why you were scared to go through that again. I stuck it out because I knew she was my last so I know why you want to try but if it doesn't work or if you need to give up that is okay too. My sister's first baby had major latching issues and the lactation consultant had her use nipple shields. They told her that if a baby can latch to a bottle they can latch with a nipple shield. Maybe you have tried that already? It was a lot of work but it worked until he learned to latch better. I know what you mean about not wanting to not be able to do something. That is the only reason we kept our puppy...because I did not want to admit I couldn't do it. So I wish you luck and I know you CAN do it but that does not mean you HAVE to. When the time comes if feeding anxiety takes away from your ability to enjoy Danni then weigh the situation and decide then.

Thor'sblog said...

Not to sound too churchy but if you want this badly (and it sounds like you do) then I would recommend to fast and pray for it.

Anonymous said...

All great advice! Hopefully your mama will be there right after delivery to help you. Remember Kory! Change the baby's position with each feeding to help save the nipples. I will also pray and fast for you.

The Thompson Family said...

You can do it Kory while sporting the nursing cover I am working on :-) Love you